Student X was 19 when she had an abortion. Now 25, she is still sharing her experience with other women.
I had an abortion for a few reasons. Firstly, I had not planned on becoming pregnant and to find out that I was came as a massive surprise. Secondly, I felt that I had nothing to offer a child at that stage in my life and I wanted to have a child when I was prepared and could provide it with the best upbringing I could.
I had a few problems initially with a particularly unhelpful doctor who refused to refer me for an abortion. At that time I wasn’t that aware of the law or my rights and so I felt really panicked and trapped when I felt no one would help me. Luckily, I had a close friend who was a medical student and who knew a bit more about it all than me. She told me to go and see another doctor who was extremely helpful and referred me straight away when they realised I was sure. I then spoke to British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS) who were really helpful and gave me all the information and help I needed. I didn’t really feel like I needed counselling or anything, although it was offered at every stage of the way. I felt supported in terms of the information I was given and I also received a lot of support from my friends.
Stigma
At the time I felt relieved that I had the option to have a safe and legal abortion in this country, and that I would be able to start a family when I was ready. I also found it an extremely easy decision to make. I didn’t take the decision lightly but I knew almost immediately that I wanted to have an abortion. Now I just feel glad that I was mature enough to have made a good life-decision. I wish that I had known more about my rights but I am glad that I know my rights.
I don’t feel ashamed of having made the choice to have an abortion because it was the right choice for me. However, there is so much stigma attached to it that it was extremely difficult for me to tell my parents – which I didn’t do for several years. I have also received a few nasty comments from people who have found out that I had one.
Speaking out
Since then I have become more comfortable about speaking out about having had an abortion. So many women make the choice to have one and so many feel alone and ashamed about that decision. I want to let those women know that most people won’t judge them for it – it’s only a tiny minority who have outdated views about women and their choices.
I’d only ever give one piece of advice, which is don’t ever feel ashamed of deciding to have or not to have an abortion. Young mums, older mums, unprepared mums, women who choose abortions for whatever reason should not be made to feel ashamed or stigmatised about the choices they make. Since my abortion I have been working with organisations that support women, sharing my experience, because I wanted to make sure that more women know what their rights are and feel positive about the choices they are rightly entitled to make about their lives.
Student Y had an abortion at the age of 21. Now 24 she says her decision was hard at first but she knows she made the right decision.
I decided to have an abortion so I could finish my studies at university. I went to my GP and he told me what I needed to do. The information was impartial and quite accessible. I did have to go for a consultation first, where they made sure I knew what I was doing, and that I wanted to do it.
Counselling
Immediately after the abortion I had a counselling session which lasted an hour and a half. After that they went through the different contraception I could use to prevent it from happening again. I was given the choice of having counselling sessions for two months after, but I didn't take that. I went through free counselling with the university instead. I was offered the option of a male or female counsellor, which was really important to me.
I spoke to close friends about my abortion and I was forced to speak to my course tutor because I needed to get time off of college, but she was actually really supportive.
It was really, really hard at the time but I felt I had made the right decision. I absolutely feel I made the right choice, although you never get over it. I would say to other women that it’s entirely their decision, and, as bad as it seems now, it does get better in the future. I’m not involved in any campaigns to raise awareness of women’s rights to abortion, but I should be. It is important that the information is available to them to help them make their decision.